Today I am dirtyI want to be prettyTomorrow, I know I'm just dirtToday I am dirtyI want to be prettyTomorrow, I know I'm just dirtFear the nobodiesWanna be SomebodiesWe're dead,We know just who we areWe are the nobodiesWanna be SomebodiesWe're dead,We know just who we areYesterday I was dirtyWanted to be prettyI know now that I'm forever dirtYesterday I was dirtyWanted to be prettyI know now that I'm forever dirtWe are the nobodiesWanna be SomebodiesWe're dead,We know just who we areWe are the nobodiesWanna be SomebodiesWe're dead,We know just who we areSome children died the other dayWe fed machines and then we prayedPuked up and down in morbid faithYou should have seen the ratings that day
I feel.... somehow... empty.
My past came back and now it's haunting me. I... I.... my stomach is turning. Remembing those awful nights, the people who died around me... the people I've lost, the people who've turned on me... the pain I've caused on myself, almost getting ran over. My fucking god. I haven't felt this bad before about my past. The lyrics say how I feel. I feel like I'm nothing but dirt to kick around. Oh god, make this feeling stop... it's getting to me. It's getting to me..... really bad. I shouldn't even be saying this, hehe... even in a journal. Lol.
Who'd read this journal and NOT think I'm asking for attetion here? Maybe I am... maybe I'm not... But for the moment.. I just need help. I'm trying to hold it in and control it... kick it away, but it's hitting me hard to the point I almost can't take it. Some things that have happened today have sparked some awfully painful memories I wish I could forget already, but they're etched in the back of my mind... Fucking son of a bitch, if I could just forget them already... I already know my life was screwed to start with, I wish it wouldn't get rubbed in my face by these unintentional remarks that remind me of this pain... Just for tonight, I can't believe it's hit me this hard much worse than before.
Sta.sh
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Pain 
Thanks for the fav.
